So I matched with D on Bumble. Conversations went well and I was attracted to him. I told him about my singles group on Facebook and he joined it.
Side note: I’ve made many friends from a singles group. The owner of said group didn’t let members make events and was profiting off her own events, even charging for hikes, so I decided to make my own. So I’ve been promoting my group, trying to grow it.
Anyway, D and I made plans to meet. But before the first date arrived, I asked him for a current photo.
So he sends me one and he doesn’t look like his dating profile pics. Same dude but clearly the pics from his profile are of him when he was younger. So as kindly as I could, I asked him how old his profile pics are. I assured him he still looks handsome in the now pics.
It offended him. He claims the pics weren’t old and told me I was very rude for saying that.
At first, I apologized. Maybe it’s just the beard or the angle (even though he was clearly fatter too). I told him I’m probably extra sensitive to it because men do that a lot.
But he continued to lecture me on how I should never have even said that to him. That I should have just waited until I saw him in person.
The lecturing continued. And continued. And continued…so now I’m getting concerned because he’s taking this way too personal.
Meanwhile, I’m sending screenshots of the convo to a group chat of girlfriends I’m in asking if they thought i was wrong in saying that. Every one of them agreed he looked way different in the new pic and that he was being way too hard on me for it.
I told him I was concerned about how this conversation is turning. He asked me how so. I said “Honestly, I think I need some time to process all of this before I can answer that. I’m going into a bar to meet a friend for a beer. I’ll text you when I’m done.”
He said ok.
Not even 5 minutes later, he sends me a NASTY text. He told me I look fat in some of my Facebook pics which he assumed meant I’m fatter now (I’m skinnier now actually, not that it matters cause Facebook is not my dating profile, dick). We weren’t Facebook friends. Only my profile pics were even public. He said I need a serious lesson on hypocrisy and how to treat people.
I kid you not, he sent message after message. Insult after insult. I may have offended him on accident but he was maliciously attacking me just to make me feel bad.
When I called him out on that, he said he was just trying to give me a taste of my own medicine. This guy seemed to think it was his job to teach me a lesson. The only lesson I learned here is that a little blunt honesty may just be the filter I need to weed out these fragile ego narcissists lol.
What’s weird is when he noticed I was about to cut him off, he started back peddling and telling me he actually loves my body and thinks I’m super sexy and he even had the nerve to say he jacked off twice to my photos! I didn’t even send him any nudes or anything. He was apparently jacking off to my regular ass photos lol. So weird.
So when I left the bar, I sent him a short response saying “You exhibited behaviors tonight that I never want to experience again. Take care.” And I blocked him.
THEN he sends me ANOTHER nasty message from some other random phone number. I ignored and blocked that one too.
Then he DMs me on Facebook. Message after message. The guy was going off.
I didn’t want to block him cause I knew he was in the Facebook group and wanted to see his activity. If he pulled anything in the group, I’d remove him but I didn’t want to kick someone out just cause of my own conflict with him out of the group. So I didn’t.
Well, I was hosting a gathering in my own town at a lounge last Friday. Just a small group going. And guess who RSVPed to it?? Yep, D the Douchebag.
He also made a comment on someone else’s post in the group that demonstrated he was still bitter. Someone posted “Why do guys ghost?” And he commented “Idk the answer. But I also wonder why a girl would be rude and then just block you so you can’t respond!”
Now remember my friends saw my entire text convo with him so they knew the back story.
Well you know my girls got my back so like 3 of them got on there saying a girl wouldn’t block for no reason, what did you do?” Haha eventually one of the girls told him they saw the whole thread and asked why he would rsvp to an event hosted by a girl that was rude and blocked him? He got rude to them too so I removed him from the group!
But geez, I didn’t know if he was gonna show up or not! Did I need to be worried about my safety? Was he gonna show up and start shit? He already knew the location and time. It’s a public place so I couldn’t stop him from coming.
So I asked my friend, who was coming and happens to have 19 years of king fu, to pick me up. He took his job of protecting me very seriously. So sweet!
But the good news is, the douchebag never showed up! And he’s out of the group so he can’t see anymore events so hopefully he’s gone forever.
Whew! And they say women are fragile and sensitive? I call bullshit. Some guys have ZERO control of their emotions. It’s exhausting.
They make me miss C. The emotional intelligence is just so rare. But at least C has reminded me it does exist in some men. So I will keep looking. My grow old with guy is out there somewhere 🙂