Wow. It’s been almost a month since I last blogged. Not much has changed in the dating department.
C and I are just enjoying being together. Crazy to think it’s already been almost 3 months since we started dating.
The sex has slowed down to only once a day instead of twice a day. Still great sex but maybe a little less exciting and becoming a little more…habitual. We talked about doing another role play soon. That should spice things up so I look forward to that!
As we climb out of the clouds and learn more and more about each other’s flaws and quirks, one thing I’m just so impressed by is our ability to face any conflict together with maturity and free of any toxic behaviors. There have been moments where had it been any of my ex’s, it would have turned into an argument. But C gets it. He understands exactly what I’ve been trying to accomplish with all my exes to no avail. Healthy communication.
THIS is C’s purpose in my life. He’s raising the bar. He’s assuring me that yes, there are men out there that can do this. He’s getting me use to being treated with respect. He’s helping me train my brain to expect emotional intelligence from my partner. And for this, I will forever be grateful. When it’s time to say goodbye to C and find the man I’m going to grow old with, I will not settle for anything less. Because this is what I will be use to.
For those that aren’t caught up, C is only 31 (I’m 41) and he still wants to find a wife he can have children with. And he should because he is going to make an incredible father someday! My youngest just turned 18 and I’m done having children so him and I can’t be together forever.
But we’ve decided to enjoy each other for a while before we say goodbye. We are both just really grateful to have an emotionally intelligent partner that appreciates personal growth as much the other so we are just soaking it up. We could talk for hours about human behavior and the psychology of relationships. Both equally fascinated by it!
Regardless, there are a few things about him that are starting to show.
For one, he can smell sometimes. And it turns me off. I think this is part of the reason my sex drive is going down.
Also, he’s a gamer. He’s a night owl and sleeps in hours later than me. This hasn’t really impacted our relationship yet because when I’m with him, he doesn’t play and we go to bed together. Despite that though, I still wake up 2-3 hours before him. If we lived together and he was gaming instead of being in bed with me at night, this would likely be a problem.
I’m such a morning person. I’m in the best mood and every stretch and every cuddle just feels sooo fucking good. My senses are just EXTRA which is why I love morning sex. It’s my favorite time to have sex! And most guys have morning wood which is a big turn on. But not C. He’s too sleepy when he first wakes up. It takes him like an hour to even open his eyes after he wakes. Eventually he does wake up enough to want sex but it’s a slow process getting there and I likely already spent the last couple hours feeling neglected. Haha ok that’s a strong word. Not neglected but just wishing he would wake up.
I probably need to get better at finding other things to do! Sometimes I read, sometimes I just go on social media. But ultimately, I’m waiting for him to wake up.
So yea…I hope my future partner is a morning person.
The other thing I notice about C is that sometimes, in a group setting, he can be a little…hmm what’s the word? Not awkward but just he will sometimes say or do things that he doesn’t realize won’t be well received. It can almost be condescending even. Don’t get me wrong, most of the time he’s great in social settings. But every now and then, I find myself feeling a little bit embarrassed for him.
Last week I actually called him out on it. In the nicest possible way of course but it was something that bothered me for 2 days and I thought, you know what? C is all about personal growth. Maybe he’d want to know this. Here’s what happened.
We had a get together with our group of friends for a birthday. Our friend, T, and her 18 yr old daughter, K, were talking about how much they like crime tv. And C jumps in and says he doesn’t like it because it’s nothing but drama. After them saying it’s real life, real people, he said “maybe a better word is cheap.”
I just thought ‘Wow that’s so rude to insult what someone just said they like!”
I kept thinking about it. At one point, it came up in conversation, and I jokingly said “Omg you called it cheap, you meanie haha.” I tried to make light of it but still had an urge to say something. Clearly this was bothering me so I decided I better say something so I don’t let it slip out in non constructive ways like that anymore. I should have done it in person but none the less, glad I spoke up.
Here’s how that went:
Now that is the kind of communication I desire in a partner! Any of my exes would have found something wrong with me and pointed that out instead of analyzing themselves. This is what I mean by emotional intelligence ya’ll!
We’ve had a few conflicts so far and all of them were discussed and worked out in a mature manner. Like we are both on the same fucking team. And it sure feels good!
So for now, I’m just living the girlfriend life. No crazy dates. But I will be back with some role playing stories soon! C and I are going camping for 5 nights coming up June 5-10 and I think we are going to incorporate some role play one of the days we are there!
I can’t wait to just unplug and be with C. I’ve been very focused on my family this month which has been a blessing in its own right. My parents have been in town and my son is about to graduate! So we’ve been spending a lot of time doing family things. Plus it’s the busiest time of year for me at work so I’ve been swamped. So C and I have only been together a couple times a week the last few weeks. I do miss him.
Anyway, sorry for the long blog. And not much juicey stuff. Just real life shit! If you actually made it to the end of this, let me know. I see your “likes” but never hear from you. Leave a comment! I give you permission to analyze my life! 😂